Is It Possible to Fall in Love With Someone You Have Only Met Online?

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A person cannot fall in love with someone he or she has never met in person. You can chat for hours, days, even months or years online, and that includes Face timing. You can really, really, really get to know someone, and the potential for real love can certainly be present. In other words, online chatting is a very real way to connect and decide if there are possibilities for the two of you. But, the bottom line is, an online relationship just isn’t the real thing. Until the two of you get your bodies into the same room oe alone for a certain amount of time,meet and speak directly ,you won’t know if you love each other.

Some might disagree with me, but here is the question I have. How can two people be in love if they have never touched each other? I’m not talking about sex, I’m referring to simply feeling the other’s skin. How about smell? There is a certain warmth and smell to someone that comes from being close, burying your nose in her neck, the smell of her hair, the smell of her skin. Can’t get that via Face  time.

How can two people be in love when their lips have never touched? Isn’t a kiss oftentimes the magic that helps you realize you’ve found true love? (or maybe this kiss makes you realize the opposite-that you aren’t in love.) And, can you really say you’re in love with a person whose hand you have never held or whose breath you have never breathed in?

Also, falling in love means spending a significant amount of time with someone, not pre-scheduling Face time meetings where you can look your best and get into the perfect mental state to talk. Being in love means experiencing the vulnerability of him or her seeing you at your worst, both physically-meaning the times you have bedhead or when you have a terrible cold, and mentally, if you just lost your job or heard a family member was ill.

Despite the fact that online chats or Face timing can include meaningful conversations, both can put you in situations where you are well prepared. True love exists when you are the opposite of prepared, when you are a mess, when you have a fit, or when you cry uncontrollably.

Think about it. When someone sends you a text, you have as long as you need or want to respond. Therefore, there is no authenticity or spontaneity in the conversation. In Face timing, you can set up the lighting and background, and make yourself look as attractive as you’d like. If a person is self-conscious about his/her body, they can hide it. If he has a receding hairline, he can wear a baseball cap. If she has a scar, she can easily hide it. Can’t do that in person.

On a real date, both people have the luxury of looking at EVERYTHING. Hands, toes (if she’s wearing sandals), legs, arms, hair, smile, teeth, and most importantly (to me) eyes.

How can someone fall in love without looking into the other’s eyes? I think it’s impossible.

Image result for online datingAlso, in person dating allows the people to eventually see where and how the other lives, from the neighborhood to the smell of the inside of his/her home to the person’s bed. There are a million little things that make us fall in love, and most of those aren’t present during an online situation.

In closing, there is nothing wrong with online dating, in fact it’s a great way to start a relationship. But no way is it possible to fall in love until you spend some real time in the other’s arms.And that just can’t happen online.

In ancient thamizh tradition, falls into two large divisions, kalavu("stolen love"/pre-marital love relations ) and karpu("chaste love"/married life). ‘Kalavu’ signifies the clandestine direct meeting of lovers before marriage. ‘Karpu’ is love in the context of married life.In kalavu, the love is instantaneous,usually, a man and a woman fall in love at the very first sight or In other words, a guy and gal meet each others,fall in love and make love. After making love only they decide to marry. Unlike the traditional (surely not Dravidian tradition!) arranged marriage, Kalavu is concept of love first , love making next and finally marriage.

For example,In Vamiki Ramayana,Rama sees Sita and falls in love with her,To Sita too,love happened the moment she saw this young man.Their two hearts met -The essential meeting had already happened-The freshness,the virginity of the meeting of these hearts would not happen in Online !.Tamil poet Kampan too demonstrated this concept of love and chastity between Raman and SIthai in his kamba ramayanam,where, He portrays the intense passion with sheer eye contact as:

514. When that Sita who was more prettier than  any one’s concept of beauty,

Was standing there,  her eyes and that of Rama dragged each other,

And each of  their eyes wanted to steal the   other and eat  it,

And due to this  both their consciousness     became  one single one,

And he saw her   and she   also saw him.

"எண்ண அரு நலத்தினாள் இனையள் நின்றுழி 
கண்ணொடு கண் இணை கவ்வி, ஒன்றை ஒன்று 
உண்ணவும், நிலைபெது உணர்வும் ஒன்றிட 
அண்ணலும் நோக்கினான், அவளும் நோக்கினாள்."[514]

516.Since   their sights which drank each other  ,
Tied each other  and was dragging  each other’s hearts,
That Rama with a strong bow  and Sita with sword  like eyes.
Pierced each others heart    and stayed there.
"பருகிய நோக்கு எனும் பாசத்தால் பிணித்து 
ஒருவரை ஒருவர்தம் உள்ளம் ஈர்த்தலால்
வரி சிலை அண்ணலும் வாள்கண் நங்கையும் 
இருவரும் மாறிப் புக்கு, இதயம் எய்தினார்."[516]

When their eyes met, and caught as though they eat one another,their feelings too merge into the oneness or  there was fusion between their feelings (நிலைபெது உணர்வும் ஒன்றிட). As if to reemphasize the point, he added that because their minds fused with each other, there was mutual exchange of their hearts (உள்ளம் ஈர்த்தலால் மாறிப்புக்கு இதயம் எய்தினர்).Do you think, Will it happen in online??

"Beautiful-winged bee
whose life is passed in search of honey
don't speak to me of desire
but tell me what you really saw:

Could even the flowers that you know
be as full of fragrance
as the hair of the woman
with the even set of teeth and the peacock nature,
to whom long affection binds me?"

"கொங்குதேர் வாழ்க்கை அஞ்சிறைத் தும்பி
காமம் செப்பாது கண்டது மொழிமோ
பயிலியது கெழீஇய நட்பின் மயிலியல்
செறியெயிற் றரிவை கூந்தலின்
நறியவும் உளவோ நீயறியும் பூவே."
[Tamil poem:குறுந்தொகை/ Kurunthogai 2] 

Here,Talaivan(Hero) meets Talaivi(heroine) accidentally by chance, usually while hunting or fishing , or while travelling in the mountains or along the sea shore. Talaivan sees Talaivai and vice versa, the beauty of Talaivi makes Talaivan feel whether she is a human being or a goddess(ananku). Then our Talaivan looks for signs like whether her feet is on the ground, whether she perspires, whether she casts a shadow, whether bees hum around her hair, whether her garland withers. If any one of these happens he confirms that Talaivi is human. Their eyes meet ( the famous line of Kamban:‘Annalum nookinar avalum nookinaal’) and they fall in love at once( kandathum kadal !) Would you think,Will it happen in online??

"It would be nice
if someone does not mind
that long distance,
and can walk swiftly without delay,
to go and give him the good word,

that the wound father got
catching a powerful shark has
healed and he has gone back
to the blue-colored, vast ocean,
mother has gone to the salt
pans to barter salt for white rice,

and that it would be easy for
my man of the cold, wide shore to
come and see me.  This is my message!"

"சேயாறு சென்று துனை பரி அசாவாது
உசாவுநர்ப் பெறினே நன்று மற்றில்ல
வயச் சுறா எறிந்த புண் தணிந்து எந்தையும்
நீல் நிறப் பெருங்கடல் புக்கனன் யாயும்
உப்பை மாறி வெண்ணெல் தரீஇய
உப்பு விளை கழனிச் சென்றனள் அதனால்
பனி இரும் பரப்பில் சேர்ப்பற்கு
இனி வரின் எளியள் என்னும் தூதே"
[குறுந்தொகை/Kurunthokai 269]

My father went to sea to fish after healing his by shark attack. My mother went to salt field to come with salt to exchange it for paddy. This is the proper time to get enjoy.The lady converses with her friend-maid while her lover is waiting in reachable distance.[2nd century B.C. poem of Kalladanaar,Kurunthogai 269 ] .This is possible in online, to pass the message,But more quickly than it happened in 2200 BC,So that they can meet before parents return!,Otherwise,My sincere advice to meet personally,meet alone,spend some time, before take any decision and accept love!! 

[Kandiah .Thillaivinayakalingam]           [nextweek-in Tamil]


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